Is it too early to have a midlife crisis?

My lack of a recent entry can be put down to two reasons:

1) Where there may have been something interesting to report on, instead exists a gaping big hole with nothing to fill it except mind numbing errands and soul destroying job hunts and

2) I may be in the middle of a midlife crisis.

Perhaps it's a bit indulgent to split the above reasons into two when they can really be put under one overarching title: "I'm panicking."

I've never really been one to know what I wanted to do with my life. My earliest memory of an ambition was my dream to be a police woman on a horse. The discovery of my equine allergies and what real police work entailed, soon put pay to that idea. Next came wanting to be a vet. Again, when realising what the job description actually was, I stopped being so keen. What followed was a string of "passions" ranging from bookshop owner to prime minister- ideas that never exceeded more than a month, until finally I hit A-level year and I was being told to start making future decisions.

"So what do you want to do when you leave school?"

The dreaded question followed me everywhere. Sure, I had the short term response.

"Go to University."

"To study what?"

Hmm.
For a while the answer was English because "you can do anything with it" and I'd always thrived at the creative writing aspect, but the idea of studying texts day after day didn't appeal.
Eventually, under the advice of my mother to do something I enjoy, I decided on drama.

Of course there's a big difference in making a decision yourself and having life intervene. I didn't get the A I'd been predicted in drama (ridiculous exam and a flawed teacher, I swear) and so the University I'd settled on offered me drama and film instead.

Disappointment soon gave way to excitement, and I quickly recognised that the B in my drama a-level had done me a world of good. I loved the film aspect of my course!!

And now with a new interest, I had new career prospects. That previously dreaded question was answered with: "Something in film." At the time I was pleased with my answer. It gave me possibilities and different opportunities. It didn't occur to me that once Uni was over, I'd have to narrow those down. Nor did it occur to me that I'd be faced with even more options.

Options are supposed to be good, right? Wrong! I can't make a decision to save my life, let alone one to dictate it! Over the last few months I have considered the following: teaching drama, screenwriting, casting, acting, producing, writing fiction, teaching english abroad, editing, taking photographs, becoming a travel writer, inventing something, setting up a business, doing another undergraduate degree and working in tescos. Although I'm sure I could probably do any of the above (except work in tescos.... I can't quite see myself making that kind of career choice) I am no better off than when I wanted to be a policewoman on a horse.

I'm worried. I know I don't have to make a life altering decision now and that whatever I decide can be fixed later, but I'm so determined to make the right choice first time round. I don't want to be aimlessly switching jobs for the rest of my existence, and I want to find something I'll wake up excited to do!!

Except for those lucky few who have known what they wanted to do since their first words were "You have the right to remain silent", most graduates are facing my same dilemma.

So why do I feel like I'm the only one and that if I don't make my mind up soon, I'm going to fail?

I hate being in limbo.