Christmas: Am I losing my touch?

In the immortal words of a festive music legend: IT'S CHRIIIIISTMAS.

Nearly, anyway.

It's no secret that I'm a Christmas fanatic. Come boxing day I fall into a deep depression with the knowledge that it's a whole year away. Sure, leftovers help ease the pain for a while, but they're only a small plaster over the gaping bullet wound that is the end of Christmas. And then while everyone else is mourning the end of summer ('oooh it's getting cold!!'), I'm growing more excited by the day at the prospect of jingle bells!

My love of the season probably isn't all that healthy. I mean, what does it say about me? I'm superficial, too focused on the shiny things in life instead of reality, too materialistic? Yes, yes, yes. I like the superficial silly things, I definitely prefer the shiny glitz to the boring grey of daily life, and I enjoy tangible joys. During the year I have to tone down these negative qualities and focus on the positive, but at Christmas? HA. I can go crazy and not feel guilty about it! I can get excited over finding a stray Santa decoration I'd forgotten existed. I can squeal when I find the tinsel and realise I have just the right length to decorate my entire room. And I can most definitely enjoy the over crowded, over stressed and over the top shopping experience. I love it all.

My favourite thing however, has failed to be effectively expressed in the John Lewis Christmas ad. There's been a fair amount of criticism over it- my main issue is that a kid that age is not going to be affording anything from John Lewis for his parents. They'll be lucky if they get a coat hanger shaped into something other than a coat hanger. But I understand the general idea behind it, because my genuinely favourite part of Christmas is the giving of presents. Now I know that's not what Christmas is about bla bla bla, and thank you Jesus for being born all those years ago, but I love that feeling you get when you know you've hit the present on the head. I've always considered myself quite the present giver, and that's because I analyse people for the few months in the lead up to Christmas. I listen a little more carefully to their stories, and amidst all the general crap that is chit-chat, I get ideas for their present. So when Christmas finally comes and Person A can tear open my expertly wrapped gift (most of my talents revolve around this season...), their reaction is totally worth the effort of paying that little bit more attention.

Which finally brings me to my point. I fear my skills haven't effectively been put to use this year. Usually around this time I'd have most of my presents sorted, with only a few loose ends needing to be tied up. That's not the case this year. I have a number of the smaller gifts, but I'm totally stuck on the biggies. Problem 1: A severe lack of funds. Despite the recent acquirement of a job (WEHEY) I am well into my overdraft. Not good. Problem 2: An even greater lack of ideas!! This is my field, my talent, my greatest advantage!! And yet I find myself having to ask people what they want. I never ask! I always find and fulfill a need that may not have even been known. But now here I sit, head in hands, begging the fat man in the red suit for inspiration.

Of course, I know none of it really matters. Christmas isn't about the presents, and my family don't care what's under the paper. But that's not the point! When I give a present it's not about the actual physical item, but the time, thought and effort that's gone into it. That's what I love giving, and that's what everyone appreciates receiving. This year I feel like there is no time (I can't believe it's December already...), my thinking hat isn't fulfilling it's job description, and I seem to be making no effort to fix the situation. This has left me feeling all a little overwhelmed. Of course it doesn't help that every time I think of a possible solution, I forget it before I have the chance to write it down. Dear Santa, this year I'd like a new brain please.

I'm hoping that as they did with all my essays, the ideas will start to flow with just enough time to spare. In the meantime I plan to go overboard on the Christmas music, write my Christmas cards, and enjoy the festivities. Because for all it's commercialism, money-making and present stress, 'tis the season to be jolly tra la la la la la la la la!!

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

Main Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, Ryan Phillippe, William H.Macy

Plot Summary: A defense attorney struggles with the moral and tangible implications of his job when he learns his latest client is practiced at beating the system.

The Good: - I was pleasantly surprised by McConaughey's performance! I've never been his biggest fan. His southern drawl in films such as How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days and Failure to Launch, doesn't leave you thinking of him as the most credible of actors. But watching The Lincoln Lawyer (and the day before that A Time to Kill- another good film to watch!) I've realised that he can be more than an annoying love interest. His portrayal of the somewhat sleazy and extremely resourceful lawyer, Mick Haller, who fears not being able to recognise innocence, is both truthful and captivating. McConaughey carries us along effortlessly, leaving us both rooting for and pitying Haller and his career.

-The plot is really quite interesting and reflective of a system many have issues with. The big lawyer question "Would you rather send an innocent man to jail, or let a guilty man go free?" is heavily present throughout. There are plenty of legal thrillers out there, and The Lincoln Lawyer sits comfortably and successfully among them.

The Bad: - As much as I enjoyed McConaughey, I despised Ryan Phillipe. Whilst the former managed to change my opinion of him, the latter did not. Phillipe is the same in ever film, no matter who he plays. His attempts at an intense stare, or the way his mouth awkwardly forms words just leaves me wanting to throw things at the screen. We all have our pet peeves, and he is definitely one of mine. Get him out of Hollywood. Please.

Memorable Moment: -Haller's "business meeting" with bikers in his "office"- his Lincoln car.

Score: 7/10

Verdict: If you're a fan of legal battles, lawyer mumbo jumbo, and any films that involve a courthouse, you'll get on well with The Lincoln Lawyer. A decent watch that might not change your life philosophy, but will certainly leave you feeling cinematically satisfied whilst perhaps having you question the legal system.

Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Main Cast: Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey

Plot Summary: An illiterate, abused, over-weight, pregnant teen narrates her story as she tries to make a better life for herself.

The Good: - The cast. Every one of them was captivating; even Mariah Carey. But without a doubt Mo'Nique stood out. No wonder she won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Her portrayal of the physically, verbally and emotionally abusive mother left me in awe. I don't ever remember hating a character so intensely whilst at the same time wanting to see more and more of her! She was, by far, my favourite element of the whole film, despite wanting to violently push her off her own tower block on more than one occasion. 

-Precious' way of escaping her horrific life is through her imagination, and her daydreams are handled brilliantly by the editing team. Integrated into the story seamlessly, the sparks of imagination appear when Precious is at her lowest. Whether it's a white woman's reflection in the mirror instead of her own, or a photograph of her mother saying loving things, these insights into Precious' psyche (as well as her own moving and heartbreaking narration) gives another emotional dimension to an already drastically sad story.

The Bad: - Certain moments drag out for a little too long, and therefore I was left with the feeling that the 109 minute film was perhaps a bit lengthy- I was ready for it to end half an hour before it did. 

-Although Gabourey Sidibe was excellent as Precious, it was sometimes quite hard to understand her. She is perfectly understood in the TV Series 'The Big C' (also brilliant by the way- check it out) and although I understand why she spoke the way she did for this character, I was constantly wanting her to speak up; I'm sure a lot of what she said was supposed to be profound and moving, but I didn't catch a lot of it!

Memorable Moment: -Precious' mother's speech in the Welfare office. Surprisingly touching.

Score: 7/10

Verdict: If for no other reason than to learn and be aware of how some people are forced to live, Precious should be seen by everyone. It's a real eye opener, and a teenager's life of abuse interwoven with her dreams of a better life is painfully sad and hard hitting. At it's most basic, Precious is a comment on people's capabilities for bad and good, and more than that it manages to comment on society as a whole without ever seeming preachy. Definitely worth a watch.

Eat Pray Love (2010)

Main Cast: Julia Roberts, James Franco, Javier Bardem

Plot Summary: Feeling stuck and trapped in New York, Liz Gilbert (Roberts) sets off on a trip around the world to try and find that elusive 'missing piece' in her life.

The Good: - As Roberts' character tries to 'find herself,' we are treated to locations, cultures, people and food that aren't American! Her journey takes her to Italy, India and Bali, and in every destination we are exposed to something a little different. Something not so Hollywood.

- Roberts is a very consistent actress, and her performance in Eat Pray Love is just as reliable as in all her previous endeavors. Perhaps not Oscar worthy, but an easy watch none the less.

The Bad: - It's all a little stereotypical. The over the top Italians, the spiritual and traditional Indians, and...well, I'm not aware of Bali's stereotype, but I'm sure it was in there somewhere.

- Liz Gilbert's decision to upend her life and do something different and exciting, left me with the strongest, and most unrealistic urge to do so myself. It's highly frustrating wanting to escape a rut without the proper means to do so, and even more frustrating having to watch someone else do it.

- The entire film from start to finish was mediocre. Nothing particularly jumped out other than some stunning locations and delicious looking pizzas. There was nothing exciting, and although I didn't read the book, from what I heard the film didn't live up to it.

Memorable Moment: Liz and her friend eating Pizzas in Naples. Maybe I was just hungry at the time, but that image stayed with me. Mmmmm...

Score: 6/10

Verdict: It's a very pleasant movie, with some nice touches and occasional chuckle worthy lines, but other than some beautiful scenery and the few insights into non-American cultures, there was nothing that stood out for me. Definitely watchable, but not a film to put on your Bucket List.

Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

Main Cast: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Ashley Jensen, Michael Caine, Matt Lucas, Jim Cummings, Jason Statham, Ozzy Osbourn, Stephen Merchant, Patrick Stewart, Julie Walters, Richard Wilson etc etc!

Plot Summary: Two 'star-cross'd lovers' must find a way to be together despite their warring families. Sound familiar? Well, in the words of the one who delivers the prologue "The story you are about to see has been told before. A lot. And now we are going to tell it again. But different." The difference? Gnomes.

The Good: - Gnomes have managed to turn one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies into a beyond cute and often hysterically funny comedy. The manipulation of some of the most famous lines in history, "What's in a gnome" and "A weed by any other name is still a weed" constantly serve to lighten the mood, and anyone who knows their Shakespeare will recognise plenty.

-Aided by clever lines and beautiful animation, the all star cast breathes life into the ceramic characters. Each gnome, bunny, 'shroom or frog has its own individual traits, and each is endearing in its own way. My personal favourites: Featherstone the plastic flamingo voiced by Jim Cummings, a voice often heard throughout Disney's animations, and Fawn the ceramic....fawn, voiced by Ozzy Osbourne... a less frequent contributor to Disney.

-Elton John's ever constant presence... 

The Bad: -Avid, loyal and stubborn Shakespeare fans may be put off by the amount of artistic license Gnomeo and Juliet uses to steer away from the original. Having said that however, if you watch an animated film about gnomes expecting to see Shakespeare in all his original glory, you're perhaps a little deluded.

-Occasionally a little too self-referential. Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed the obvious parodying and OTT references, but it could be considered a bit much. In fact, the whole film could be considered a bit much. But for me, that's where the fun is.

Memorable Moment: Gnomeo's conversation with a statue of Shakespeare.

Score: 8/10

Verdict: Shakespeare's been done by everyone, so why not have it done by gnomes? What I expected was a frivolous animation with not much substance, and so I was surprised to find myself laughing at so much of it, and genuinely enjoying a new take on an old classic. It was just fun, and surely that's what Disney's all about?

Never Let Me Go (2010)

Main Cast: Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield, Kiera Knightly

Plot Summary: Three childhood friends, Kathy, Tommy and Ruth, try to maintain their relationships whilst preparing themselves for their pre-determined futures.

The Good: - As yet another book to film adaptation, it's good to see that Never Let Me Go didn't stray far from Kazuo Ishiguro's original concept, chronology and feel. The sadness of the situation is practically tangible throughout, and the over spill of naivety and innocence from childhood into adulthood makes it all the more touching.

-The main cast breathe life into their characters; Mulligan (Kathy) and Garfield (Tommy) particularly stand out, and their characters'  relationship, although under the surface, is constantly evident. The child actors that portray the main three when they are younger also succeed in making the characters relatable, interesting and true to the book counterparts.

The Bad: -It's difficult to categorise this tale, with it not quite fitting into the technical and often frightening nature of Sci-Fi, but at the same time not making a big enough fuss for it to be considered a drama or tragedy. It sits on the cusp of a lot of genres,  and therefore doesn't quite seem to accomplish anything.

- Although it leaves a lasting impression and is often very moving, I find it hard to consider it as more than a very depressing, very British comment on the shortness and unsatisfying nature of life.

Memorable Moment: - Kathy and Tommy's pit stop in the middle of a country road after being told some bad news, where Tommy revisits the rage he was famous for at school.

Score: 6/10

Verdict: Never Let Me Go stayed true to its novel predecessor, and this left me feeling pleasantly surprised. However, other than the acting which truly did do the characters justice, I feel that most of the positives are down to Ishiguro's story rather than the film itself. Worth a watch, whether or not you've read the book, but don't be surprised if you come away feeling somewhat depressed and dispirited.

Hanna (2011)

Main Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett

Plot Summary: A 16-year old girl is trained by her father to become the perfect assassin. Sent across Europe to complete her mission, she's tracked by a ruthless agency operative. Along the way she learns more about life than her father could have hoped to teach her.

The Good: -Any time Ronan is on screen. Her presence is completely captivating, and 'Atonement' was only a glimpse of the good things to come with this talented young actress.

-The cinematography is stunning, and there are some wonderful contrasts throughout between Hanna's rustic upbringing and the clean cut Western world she's thrown into. Add to that some stunning locations ranging from snowy forests to barren desserts, and Hanna is a very pretty film to look at.

The Bad: -In all honesty, I struggle to think of anything particularly negative. If I had to nit pick and highlight any one particular thing, it would be the character of Sophie. Although I appreciated the occasional light relief she provided, I've had enough exposure to annoying teenagers and could have done without her irritating twang of a voice.

Memorable Moment: -The opening sequence. Beautifully shot and an interesting introduction to Hanna's character

Score: 9/10

Verdict: Although Ronan shines in this original take on an action thriller, she is by no means the sole positive. The storyline is gripping with enough twists and turns to keep you wanting more; Blanchett, Bana and the rest of the supporting cast all play their respective characters successfully, making sure that the title role isn't the only attraction; the action is enthralling and doesn't reduce itself to mindless violence, and bringing it all together is beautiful photography and clever editing. An excellent film that will hopefully propel Ronan into more and more roles.

The Change-Up (2011)

Main Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman

Plot Summary: A classic body switch tale where a laid back single actor and his married lawyer best friend switch bodies & lives.

The Good: - The banter and comic timing between Reynolds and Bateman is spot on every time. The actors have been friends for a while, and it's very obvious throughout. The whole film is brilliantly funny because of their individual comedic talents and their ability to bounce off each other so well.

- The body switch is a time old classic, and although The Change Up doesn't go as far as parodying the genre, it also doesn't take itself too seriously.


The Bad: - Perhaps a few too many toilet/baby poo/masturbating jokes, but then again they fit in well with the overall 'boyishness' of the film, so can't really complain.

Memorable Moment: Reynolds' "lorno" scene...just the right amount of "ohmygoddon'tdoitthat'ssick!!" 


Score: 8/10


Verdict: I am a huge fan of both Reynolds and Bateman, and they don't disappoint in this comedy where men whizz in fountains, babies throw knives, child ballerinas kick ass, and two best friends struggle to see the benefits of marriage/casual sex respectively. Would definitely recommend it for anyone who isn't afraid of a dirty joke and who knows how not to take life too seriously.

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits (2009)

N.B: With my blog having been far too rambling of late, I've decided to bring a bit of substance to it. I'm setting myself the challenge of watching a new film every day for the next week and reporting back here. If I can keep it up, I'll then do it for a month, two, six, a year, etc. Let's see how we go...

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

Main Cast: Natalie Portman, Scott Cohen, Charlie Tahan, Lisa Kudrow

Plot Summary: A young woman, Emilia, struggles to cope with the recent death of her baby whilst trying to build a relationship with her step-son.

The Good: -The flashbacks to the night of the baby's death were poignant and heartbreaking, and using three door frames to highlight individual moments of that night worked particularly well.

-Kudrow's portrayal of the high strung Upper East Side mother was effective and realistic without being completely over the top. A scene between herself and Portman where she was seen to be supportive, gave her character some depth and stopped her from being one dimensional.

The Bad: - There was nothing overly 'bad' about the film, but it constantly seemed to fall short. I expected more from Portman especially, and kept waiting to see uninhibited grief which I assumed would come from the death of a child. Instead, I got Hollywood pretty tears that never quite cut it.

- The film had several skips in time and I suspect that if we'd seen some of the action within the time lapses, I'd have been left feeling more moved than I did.

Memorable Moment: The scene in Kudrow's office between herself and Portman.


Score: 5/10


Verdict: Perfectly average. I expected to be saddened and affected because of the difficult theme concerning the death of a baby, but I came away feeling nothing. Indifference is possibly the worst reaction to have to anything, and therefore Love and Other Impossible Pursuits was a disappointment.

Is it too early to have a midlife crisis?

My lack of a recent entry can be put down to two reasons:

1) Where there may have been something interesting to report on, instead exists a gaping big hole with nothing to fill it except mind numbing errands and soul destroying job hunts and

2) I may be in the middle of a midlife crisis.

Perhaps it's a bit indulgent to split the above reasons into two when they can really be put under one overarching title: "I'm panicking."

I've never really been one to know what I wanted to do with my life. My earliest memory of an ambition was my dream to be a police woman on a horse. The discovery of my equine allergies and what real police work entailed, soon put pay to that idea. Next came wanting to be a vet. Again, when realising what the job description actually was, I stopped being so keen. What followed was a string of "passions" ranging from bookshop owner to prime minister- ideas that never exceeded more than a month, until finally I hit A-level year and I was being told to start making future decisions.

"So what do you want to do when you leave school?"

The dreaded question followed me everywhere. Sure, I had the short term response.

"Go to University."

"To study what?"

Hmm.
For a while the answer was English because "you can do anything with it" and I'd always thrived at the creative writing aspect, but the idea of studying texts day after day didn't appeal.
Eventually, under the advice of my mother to do something I enjoy, I decided on drama.

Of course there's a big difference in making a decision yourself and having life intervene. I didn't get the A I'd been predicted in drama (ridiculous exam and a flawed teacher, I swear) and so the University I'd settled on offered me drama and film instead.

Disappointment soon gave way to excitement, and I quickly recognised that the B in my drama a-level had done me a world of good. I loved the film aspect of my course!!

And now with a new interest, I had new career prospects. That previously dreaded question was answered with: "Something in film." At the time I was pleased with my answer. It gave me possibilities and different opportunities. It didn't occur to me that once Uni was over, I'd have to narrow those down. Nor did it occur to me that I'd be faced with even more options.

Options are supposed to be good, right? Wrong! I can't make a decision to save my life, let alone one to dictate it! Over the last few months I have considered the following: teaching drama, screenwriting, casting, acting, producing, writing fiction, teaching english abroad, editing, taking photographs, becoming a travel writer, inventing something, setting up a business, doing another undergraduate degree and working in tescos. Although I'm sure I could probably do any of the above (except work in tescos.... I can't quite see myself making that kind of career choice) I am no better off than when I wanted to be a policewoman on a horse.

I'm worried. I know I don't have to make a life altering decision now and that whatever I decide can be fixed later, but I'm so determined to make the right choice first time round. I don't want to be aimlessly switching jobs for the rest of my existence, and I want to find something I'll wake up excited to do!!

Except for those lucky few who have known what they wanted to do since their first words were "You have the right to remain silent", most graduates are facing my same dilemma.

So why do I feel like I'm the only one and that if I don't make my mind up soon, I'm going to fail?

I hate being in limbo.

Shameless plugging

The internet is so easy to abuse.
I'm abusing all of it.
So consider this a gathering of information and, as the title suggests, shameless plugging.

1) http://look-see-snap.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html - a few photo additions

2) http://moo-vfarm.com/2011/08/02/top-10-movie-sequels/ - my latest contribution to the film website 'moo-v farm'

3) @GabiGuttner - I'm finally on twitter. So do whatever it is that you do on twitter... (?)

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more ramblings soon.

xx

Status: Unemployed

I went to the cinema yesterday. Horrible Bosses. Very funny. When buying my ticket, the woman behind the counter posed a simple one worded question: "Student?" My heart sank, my purse shriveled up and my head shook itself from side to side. A barely audible "no" followed, as did her highly unnecessary "ok, two adults." Thank you, but the reiteration really wasn't necessary. I am very aware that my student status has been revoked and has been replaced with the far less desirable, 'unemployed.' Aware because, for starters, my daily routine has altered slightly...

As a student you wake up whenever. Go to a couple of seminars or lectures here and there. Occasionally step foot into a library. Frequently step foot into a pub. Do an essay. Read a book. Sleep. Discuss everything from world politics to the possibility of sliding down the stairs on a mattress. Microwave something. Sleep some more.  Pretty simple, and very comfortable, living.

The life of the unemployed- still living at home I might add- isn't quite as enjoyable.

Still wake up whenever, but feel guilty for sleeping past nine when there's job hunting to be doing. Job hunt. Eat, but feel guilty for wasting time when there's job hunting to be doing. Job hunt. Do the dishes, but resent your single parent's expectation for you to do them when there's job hunting to be doing. Stop doing the dishes. Job hunt, but feel guilty for not finishing the dishes seeing as your single parent will be tired when they get home from work and won't want to do them. Finish the dishes. Job hunt some more, this time in front of Friends, Scrubs or CSI. Consider some form of exercise, but settle instead for facebook whilst of course feeling guilty for not job hunting. Welcome home parent with news of the days job hunting. Have dinner with parent. Watch parent's choice of TV whilst discussing job hunting and whether enough of it is being done. Go to bed. Watch a film/write in blog/read book/anything but job hunt. Go to sleep and dream of job hunting.

Of course, until this job hunting business becomes a bit more fruitful and I have a lovely income, I fear that all I'll be doing is mourning the loss of my student status. And then, naturally, once I do get a job and have no spare time, I'll be mourning the loss of my unemployed freedom.

Life is a bit of a circle. Or should I say bit-ch of a circle?

Moo-V Farm

www.moo-vfarm.com

So I've started to contribute to this very cute film website. Check it out for all the latest reviews, movie opinions, debates and conclusions. Definitely worth a visit. 

And keep an eye on the left side of this page. I'll be posting links under 'Moo-V Farm' to all the articles etc I write for them, and I'd love to know what you think :)

Twenty One

For some reason we have always had a fascination with numbers, and by 'we' I am of course referring to the entire human race. Numbers give order & significance to what would otherwise be a chaotic existence. How would we keep track of time without them? How would we know quantities, sizes, measurements etc? Most importantly, how could we get depressed about getting older when we couldn't attach a significant number to that foreboding feeling? Disaster.

So this year the number for me is Twenty One. It means I have officially 'come of age', can get into All Bar One, and can of course go and have a horrifically wonderful time in Vegas. Booya. In honour of this particular little number (because compared to most among the general population, it can still be considered 'little') I've decided to create a list of twenty one things to do this year. Bring it on.

One) Twenty One things to do this year:

1. Get a job
2. Have 'a horrifically wonderful time in Vegas'
3. Take some amazing photos
4. Meet a lot of new people
5. Complete a script
6. Fit into a pair of size 10 trousers (wishful thinking, I'm sure)
7. Learn to drive & get a car
8. Do some travelling
9. Get accepted onto a masters programme
10. Get some experience in Film production
11. Do something out of my comfort zone
12. Be able to jog for half an hour without stopping
13. Scuba dive
14. Visit a country I have never been to before
15. Win a chess game
16. Surprise someone

And unfortunately this is where my imagination ran out. I'm determined to get five more things on this list, and so am asking for lots of suggestions!! Someone's got to have a winning idea, right? Leave a comment in the box below- pretty pretty please!!

Ta very much :)

THE ROOM

To all who know me, I've been harping on about my new room for months. The paint, the carpet, the blinds, the fact that it could be an IKEA show room, the patterns, the covers, the pillows, the organisation of the books, the organisation of the shoes etc etc etc.

Moving into the attic I expected to feel like one of two people: A) Rapunzel, however what with a recent haircut and no prince charming in sight, this is unlikely. B) Jane Eyre. But life's just too comfortable, and although I can relate to the 'plain Jane' concept, Mr Rochester is too nowhere to be seen. So with no heroine to truly model myself after in my rooftop abode, I'm having to settle on just being me in an attic room. As someone whose just completed a degree which involved a lot of 'pretending,' this reality seems a little on the dull side.

Luckily however, I'm far too in love with my new dwelling to find it dull. Here for your viewing pleasure, some before & after shots to see why I'm enjoying my high in the sky lifestyle:

BEFORE

AFTER

(Cat not from IKEA)

There's still plenty to be done of course. Just like a girl's wardrobe is never complete, her room is never finished. In the next week curtains will be hung, pictures will be put up and mess will probably be accumulated. Home sweet home.

Bye bye 10% off

So graduation is just over a month away. However today is the day when the University year comes to its official end, and so I allowed myself the indulgence of deleting 'soon to be' from my blog title. Unless a horrible shock comes at 5pm in the form of a 'fail' (UPDATE: I passed with a 2:1. Phew), and unless Mr Harold Camping's timing was only a little off and the world goes up in flames in the next month, I think I'm safe in assuming I will graduate.

Today life as a student ends. Tomorrow life as a real human being begins.

The worst part? No more student discount. 

Not sure how life is meant to go on really.

The day I didn't take a professional headshot to an audition

Rookie mistake.

In my defense, I wasn't aware how professional an atmosphere it would be. When you're auditioning to be a drama teacher for 4-8 year olds, you expect the teaching aspect to me more important than the professional actor side to it. But when everyone was talking about their time at drama schools, touring with companies, asking about time off for auditions, and handing over glossy A4 black and white headshots that had clearly been taken in a studio with some fabulously serious photographer called Sven, you start to re-think what you'd originally 'thunk.' And then when they tell you to stand up and sing four lines from your 'audition song' when you'd never prepared an audition song in your life, and you quickly have to remember your spotify playlist and which of the songs you can actually remember the tune to (almost impossible when put on the spot), you start to realise that there are people in the same room who are far more prepared...

I still have my fingers crossed for the job though. Even if I did hand over a 75p Asda Print of a picture I'd taken this morning with less than perfect makeup...

Eep.

'New York, I love you', I love you.

Every moment another story begins

I didn't know what to expect when I bought New York, I Love You for £3.99 on Filmflex (Virgin Media's answer to Sky Box Office.) If I had any preconceptions, I assumed it would be similar to 'Valentine's Day'- big name stars, lots of interlinking love stories, one exciting city. And in a way, I was right. But in another, I was completely and utterly wrong. Main difference? New York I Love You is not your typical churned out of Hollywood, please the masses, adhere to social norms and conventions kind of film.

What I didn't know before watching is that New York, I Love You is the second episode in the 'Cities of Love' franchise, proceeded by Paris, je t'aime. Both films are made up of a number of short films/segments; New York, I Love You has 11 running at 1 hour 43 minutes, and Paris, je t'aime has 18 running at 2 hours. If this wasn't interesting enough, each segment in both films has its own writer and director, therefore making each individual story truly original and unique.

So, having had no prior knowledge of the film and very few expectations, I was blown away; I sat with a smile on my face throughout. Each story was acutely crafted, beautifully executed with some lovely cinematography showing off New York, and cleverly told in a number of different tones that ranged from funny to surprising, to cute, to sad and everything in between. 

By far the most impressive feat achieved however, was that no one story was conventional. Each was quirky, and yet still frighteningly realistic. I could go through each individually and praise them all ridiculously, but that would ruin it. I will just say that whether you're observing an old couple's stroll or an artist's longing, you're drawn hook line and sinker into the emotion of each story, and that's saying a lot when none of the segments exceed 15 minutes. 

For lack of articulating any more of my appreciation, I'll leave you with a comment from one critic:

New York, I Love You continues the Cities of Love series that began with Paris, je t'aime far surpassing it. (...) The vignettes are tied together into a single feature through a recurrent character, a videographer who interacts with the other characters. And transitional elements -- choreographed by 11th director Randy Balsmeyer -- move the viewer from one world to another, uniting all these intimate stories into a single shimmering fabric

Film fans, hopeless romantics, people sick of rom-coms and anyone else, I strongly recommend you watch this film. Maybe you won't love it as much as I do, but I still think you'll find it hard not to enjoy at least bits of it.

P.S If anyone can explain Shia LaBeouf's character to me that'd be great, because something about that whole segment made my heart break and I can't figure out what it was.

P.P.S Who else having seen it now wants to go to New York to find love?

The latest purchase

Introducing: 

One day someone tells my mum that Zumba for Wii is "an amazing workout but a lot of fun too!". Before you know it, this brightly coloured ab-tastic box is sitting amongst the spring onions, pitta breads and taramasalata in our tesco shopping trolley.

Me: "But you don't ever use the Wii."

Mum: "I will now!"

Me: "That's what you said about Wii Fit."

Mum: "Well this is different."

Me: "How?"

Mum: " 'It's an amazing workout but a lot of fun too!' "

Me: ....

Needless to say, I'm sceptical about her devotion to it. 

In the interest of objective opinion however, I wanted to see if it lived up to the hype. Cue 5 minutes (a full beginner's class is 20) of hip swirling, bum wiggling, arm waving, foot tapping, chest shaking, huffing & puffing physical labour. Maybe it was because I wasn't in the best attire (apparently jeans aren't considered correct zumba uniform... who knew), or maybe it was because I'd just returned from an hour long food shop that had involved debates over the best tomato, but 5 minutes of step learning and a further 5 minutes of a Zumba class, and I was about ready to sue Wii. 

I started out trying to learn a few of the 'basic' steps. HA. Best example of misused language ever. To begin with, your instructor a.k.a Zumba Bitch (her new official title) seems friendly enough. "You're doing a great job. Keep going!" This is all fine and dandy when all you're doing is putting your right foot forward and back, forward and back, but as soon as the speed increases, the steps change almost without notice and Zumba Bitch isn't giving you any instructions, all her friendly encouragements becomes useless when it's pretty clear that you're doing it all wrong! This is the major downfall with Zumba for Wii- the lack of vocal instruction, especially in the beginner's stages. The only way to learn is by mirroring Zumba Bitch, and unfortunately she seems to think that we're all Jenny from the block. Learning step basics: HARD

Frustrated with learning the steps, I threw myself into a beginner's class. I was already quite tired from the anger, frustration and abuse screamed at Zumba Bitch in the step lesson, so that's why I think I only lasted five minutes in the beginner's class. However what I did experience seemed a lot more promising than the step lesson. Zumba Bitch seemed to have toned down a bit- no longer was I striving to be J-Lo or Shakira. The steps started simple enough and then gradually got a little more challenging, and I no longer felt the urge to hurl my Wii remote at the screen. In fact, the remote remained comfortably in my Zumba Belt: Exhibit A: 

You can see the belt around the hips. And yes, that's me. Or at least it will be once I get over my slight dislike of Zumba Bitch and persevere with the sweat inducing, muscle aching exercise. Because I hate to say it, but despite the agony of trying to get the steps right, and the acute pain in your soles if you try doing it bare foot, if you like dance workouts Zumba looks to be what it was promised: "An amazing workout but a lot of fun too."

And on that note, I'm off for my next showdown with Zumba Bitch. 

"Come on shake your body baby do that ZUMBA. I know you can't control yourself any longer... "

That's that then.

My last ever essay was handed in at 13.35.

At 20.30 I proceeded to go out and get beautifully drunk until 1:56.

And now that's that.

The real world begins and responsibilities follow.

At around 10:46 -ish I'll wake up and realise that I'm actually quite terrified of the future.

At 11:01-ish I'll start a frantic job search.

At 14:32-ish I'll convince myself that no job will ever have me.

But for now, at 2:20, vodka has made me too mellow to panic. 

That can wait until later in the morning.

Until then I plan to sleep well, knowing that my University workload is completed. 

Thank fuck.

Royal Weddings, Carboot Sales, and Mr.Whippy.

Kate's dress. Thousands. 

Fashion sketches found at a carboot sale. £20.

First Mr.Whippy in about three years. £1.20

A weekend of early starts, heavy lifting, tea in a thermos, haggling with stubborn fools, cleaning, baking, interrupted naps, and forcing pills down a kitty kat's throat. Not so priceless. Tired, overworked and grumpy about the fact that I have to rush my final piece of uni work, all 6000 words of it, in a week. 

Bring on the next weekend. 

"The best books, he perceived, are those that tell you what you know already"

The mere idea of putting words on paper about one of the greatest ever collections of words on paper is fairly terrifying. George Orwell’s ‘1984’, the hugely acknowledged masterpiece, really does speak for itself. Trying to say anything remotely complimentary about it would only be an embarrassing waste of language.  On the other hand I’ve just finished it and desperately want to rave about it, tell everyone who hasn’t read it to do so, and pretty much serve it to someone on a silver platter with a fine wine, expensive truffles, a plush velvet foot stool and a gentle string quartet as background reading music because this is a book that needs to be experienced.

However I think I’ll just settle on the happy medium and encourage all who haven’t read it- or even those of you who have but can’t remember it- to sit down and enjoy. Because that’s the thing; yes it’s smart, inspiring, relevant, affecting, eerie, prophetic and hugely profound, but it’s also just a great read! It hasn’t gained ‘classic’ status and amazed millions simply because it was a clever idea- OK, beyond any normal levels of intellectual, 'clever' that is- it’s also compulsive. Enjoyable! I challenge you to start it and not find yourself hours later, confused as to where the time has gone on.

So, go on. Give it a read. It’s pretty damn good :P

Stability

Finishing university leaves a person with a horrible sense of uncertainty and inconsistency. What do I do? Where do I do it? How do I do it? CAN I do it? Confronting questions that demand answers and leave you feeling inadequately prepared for life in the real world after the cushy comforts of uni life.

I'm currently finding myself amongst this whirlwind of terror when faced with the prospect of reality, and am desperately trying to cling to anything steady that will give me a sense of stability. 

Stable Clutch 1: Family

I count myself very lucky that I rarely feel the urge to commit a familial homicide. Yes, mum drives me crazy when she tells me to straighten out my socks before putting them in the washing machine. Yes, Tat's (Tata = Dad in Polish. Tat = English derivative created by myself & siblings) numerous phone calls do leave me feeling slightly exasperated. But all in all, my family network is very supportive. Trying to get into the world of TV, Tat's gotten me in touch with an agent. Trying to write the perfect CV, mum's fixing my sentence structure. The help is much appreciated, and I recommend taking advantage (in a good way) of family support. They love you unconditionally- remember that.

Stable Clutch 2: Old Friends

If after eight months of minimal contact you can still start complimenting each other's boobs a few seconds into a greeting, you know you've got a friend for life right there- even if she doesn't want bridesmaids at her wedding... After seven years of being part of the 'good girls' at school, going separate ways for University could have meant that myself and Miss J.S would have eventually lost touch. But every meet up, no matter how long the absence in between, is just as easy as it was on the grass outside the library at school. It's nice knowing that no matter what else is going on in life, there's still a familiar face craving your updates... :)

Stable Clutch 3: Attention grabbing hairballs

Barbie and Toffee. Names don't get any more badass. Fourteen years old now, perhaps they're no longer as stable as I'd like them to be. But they've been around forever, alternating between constant demands for affection and food. When they're not sleeping on my face they're trying to eat my dinner, or they're puking up on the carpet, missing the litter box, scratching the cat flap and growling at pigeons. Wouldn't have them any other way. 

So, if you feel like life is melting in your hands as University starts to become part of your past, find those things in life that keep you grounded. Think of it this way: everyone needs a pipe...

Don't expect

Nothing at University is certain, and so it's often best not to expect.

Don't expect to find your best friends for life. If you're lucky, you'll find the odd few that will remain constant and whom you'll be having lunch with in ten years. If you're normal, you'll also meet one or two who seem brilliant to start with but soon turn out to be the opposite of what you expected and who leave you with a permanent doubt.

Don't expect alcohol to always be on your side. Sometimes it will be and it'll lead to entertaining photographic evidence and long-winded but funny anecdotes. But more often than not it'll end in vomit, tears, anger, confusion, hatred, violence, depression, injuries, deathly hangovers and major regrets.

Don't expect to meet 'the one.' The concept of 'the one' is iffy to begin with, but if you're determined to stick with it, University isn't necessarily where you'll find it. Or perhaps you will, but you'll just never do anything about it because 'there's plenty of time' or 'if it's meant to be, it will be.'

And finally don't expect certain marks. This can only lead to disappointment, and is the reason behind this particular post. When expecting a fairly average but positive mark and you're landed with a below average unsubstantiated shit mark, it can cripple you. Especially when you get it on the last day of your last term of your last year. What a way to end University, right?

Hopefully some positive posts will follow soon...

There aren't enough suitcases in the world

Whilst trying to cram three years worth of accumulated treasures into a few meager suitcases, you learn some things:

1.When you don't need them you will keep tripping over elastic bands (yes, that is physically possible...) When you do, they'll be nowhere in sight.
2.A suitcase isn't a tardis. Although it may first appear bigger on the inside, when the contents of your underwear drawer fails to fit into it you realise your eyes must have been deceiving you.
3.Those tweezers you've been looking for were under some essays-behind your bed-next to an old packet of gum the whole time.
4.Eighties tunes are perfect for packing. Sex and the City did suggest this and I've just proven it.
5.Your housemate didn't steal your favourite jumper. You just scrunched it up and discarded it at the back of your wardrobe.
6.Dust really does get everywhere.
7.You probably didn't need to keep that backlog of hair magazines.
8.Lemon pledge smells awesome and Family Guy's Conseula knows what she's talking about.
9.It is still possible to lose something after packing it away.

And finally, 10. You most definitely have hoarded more than you realised.

Oh. The. Joys.

Safe for now

2:00 am on Monday 17th January 2011 shows me documenting the start of my final term at University. For now, essays, lectures, late nights, lie ins, occasional studying, lots of film watching, extensive microwave use, a freezing house, unrequited love, photos by the hundreds, unnatural amounts of alcohol consumption and 12+ hours sleep a night keep my life in some semblance of balance.
In 3 months time my studies will be complete.
In a further 2 and a bit (or is it 3?) I'll be an official graduate and 'balance' will become a pleasant memory.


THEN WHAT?!

Stay tuned...